Dear man shaving on the dufferin bus,
It was one of those really long days at work, i was exhausted and the bus was late again, and then you sat down beside me, took out a mirror and started shaving – wow! what a way to pick up my day! I couldn’t help but notice the sexy way you tapped out the little hairs on the side of the seat. There is nothing more attractive than a man grooming excessively in public. Thank you for making my horrifying 5pm bus ride that much better.
dont sit next to me on the bus
p.s to the woman with the butt hanging out: WEAR PANTS.