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November 14, 2017 at 8:15 am - Home, 89.5 The Drive, Chilliwack's Breakfast Club
By Sadie

Gold 1981 Honda Civic 1300 – Denver

Welcome to the best days of your life, for you are about to be the hottest car having person on the blizzle izzle ock.

Her name is Goldie Honda, let me introduce you two.

Goldie gets her name by being plated in atomic number 79. Her feet are also plated in the same element, giving her a sexier look than Ryan Gosling’s chiseled face.

She is driven by lust, lure and a rather ergonomically designed, yet large gold skull shifter knob. Under the hood, she rumbles four of her seductively tuned gears at a mighty fitty-six  horsepower reaching record-smearing speeds of eightyish  miles an hour. Her trunk also opens so wide that you can fit a full sized bike inside of her for when you’re feeling like putting your bike into something and driving it around.

Oh. wait. there’s more. Do I hear you like to ‘roll’ down your windows and blast NWA in five points while you hurtle down the street

Well, with this sexhicular automobabe, you can. Over the phat stereo via bluetooth from Spotify™ for iPhone™, because Goldie’s so fresh like that.

Garaged for the majority of her life, she ain’t seen much pavement for her age either. This sweet, sweet vehicle has only been ridden 94,217 miles by three grown men (at separate times).

Oh- and also included in the sale is a jar of tears that I produced while making this ad. I’m so sad to see her go. Photo of me crying attached.

Thank you.

Listen for the Best Of Craigslist, Tuesdays at 8:10 on The Breakfast Club with Glen & Sadie!

 

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